Luna TailAnxiety, Dogs, and Life

See Below for Update posted on January 23, 2006

I thought I would write a bit of an overview of my experiences I’ve had with Pre Menstrual Syndrome. It’s such an elusive thing, and there is so much conflicting information about it all over the place. I thought I would write down my own personal experiences.

First of all, I don’t think the average person, man or woman, really understands what PMS feels like. It’s like social anxiety.. social phobia. I don’t think the average person, who has never experienced it, can really understand at a deep level. And jolly good for them, because it’s not a fun experience.

People talk about women who have PMS, and how they get cranky and out of sorts. Don’t feel to hot. Get bitchy. Etc. And sure, probably it affects many women in this way, in a mild way.

But for some women, women like me, PMS can be an extremely debilatating experience which not only affects her for a few days before she gets her period, but it can affect women for two weeks out of every month. Literally 50% of her adult life. And perhaps even younger.. since getting her period. I just cannot stress how awful this feels. And how completely it can take over a woman’s life.

Theories about PMS abound… but there is one thing that sticks out above all others. The complete and total lack of answers. It’s frustrating. Women with PMS not only feel awful during certain times, but also they can feel ashamed, fearful, and even afraid of going out into public. It really is horrible. Our society riducules women who have PMS, shutting them down and telling them that they are small, unvaluable, and it’s all in their minds.

But you know what? It is NOT just in a woman’s mind! It is real. And it is scary. And it is so very intense.

My PMS started, as far as I can remember, back around 1994 when I went through a major breakup with a boyfriend (aka fiance). I don’t remember having much PMS before that.. but after, each month, I would be an emotional roller coaster. I would feel so completely awful for at least a week, sometimes two, that I could hardly function. I became an abusive monster, and would literally throw tantrums. I hated everyone and everything that came near me.

It’s been ten years.. and just now am I finding things that will help me. After years of being told “it’s all in your head dearie”, and the basic societal pressures of trying to fix myself, I finally realized that I can’t fix myself. It’s medical.

I went to a PMS clinic probably sometime in the late 1990s. This was pretty much a waste of time. It was at the University of Utah. They wanted me to keep a calendar… okay, did that. Not that I needed to, my cycle is pretty darn obvious. Their attempt at ‘fixing’ me was to put me on the pill. Well, that didn’t work. It made me worse. I felt like I was going to pull my hair out. I felt like I was having PMS, 10 times worse, constantly. So I stopped that.

I talked to my GYN but they could also only suggest the pill. So I basically gave up.

Until spring of this year.

I decided I needed this to stop. And the first information I find is to eat more healthy. Well, I’m vegetarian, and I do know there can be unhealthy vegetarians, but I’m not one. I’m so healthy my friends sometimes practically wet themselves. I also follow the Eat To Live plan, and I have since May of this year. But even before that, I ate a great deal of vegetables and fruits and grains. I eat healthy. I rest a lot. My life is not filled with stress.. I’m happily married (very happy!) and I’m doing exactly what I want in life. Sure, some things stress me out a little bit, but that is normal. I have four wonderful dogs and I love them all as I would human children. I do agility, dabbled in herding, played at obedience.. and take all four to the park often. I also exercise.. I run about 15 miles a week (when I’m not down with a cold, and it’s not an agility weekend) and so not only do I eat healthy, I also exercise. Oh, and I lift weights three times a week.

So got that covered.

Still I felt horrible. Every month, I’d turn into Mrs. Hyde. And I hated it.

Also, around the beginning of 2005, the pains I would experience in my abdomen started to get worse. I’ve had them probably all my life, sharp internal pains around ovulation and around my period. I started to get worried. I’d brought this up with my GYN in the past and they didn’t seem concerned. But I did some internet surfing and found that I might have endometriosis. Okay.. trip to the GYN was in order.

I went in, and they told me I might have endometriosis, but the only way to test for it is to do surgery and actually test the cells. This is consistent what I read on the internet too. But they didn’t want to do that. So what did they prescribe…? Well of course, the pill. The be-all and end-all of women’s problems. Blek.

Okay so I tried the pill. Once again. It made me feel like I was dying. Like I would pull every hair out of my head, scream, kill every creature I came in contact with, and then shoot myself. It was horrible. How can I describe it? I felt BAD. I felt angry. I felt miserable. I stopped after two days.

Back to the Internet and the Library.

I found some great information. Mainly about estrogen dominance. That some women have too much estrogen, and taking a pill, that is basically more estrogen, can worsen the symptoms. Hrm.. sounded familiar.

The second book I found was by Dr. John Lee. What Your Doctor May Not Tell You About Premenopause. Awesome book. He has a website, too. Dr Lee’s website. Has some good information.

He basically says that the pill, and more estrogen is bad. Estrogen has also been proven to cause cancer, when it is unopposed. Our bodies need progesterone. And taking that can help a lot.

And so, in March 2005, I started using natural progesterone cream. I buy Progesta Care by Life Flo. Life Flo. They sell a few differnt kinds. I started and I immediately noticed a difference. For a couple of months I was good! My PMS actually went down significantly. I was amazed.

The first book I’d read was by Katharina Dalton Once A Month. And it was also a great book.

As of this date, November 7, 2005, I am still using the product. I am pleased to say that I still feel pretty good, and my PMS is not nearly as bad. However, it’s not completely gone. I would say I’m about 50% better now. Which is a great improvement to how I was. I don’t hate anymore during PMS. My body is not quite as achy, thought it still is somewhat. My breasts are still tender though. And I do get irritated a bit too easily. Also, I still have the pains in my abdomen, which I don’t like. The above books say that progesterone should reduce, or even eliminate, endometriosis and fibroids. But, maybe it’ll take a while, so far it hasn’t helped much there.

However, it helps, and so I continue buying it.

But in October, I decided I still wasn’t happy enough with how I was feeling. So I went back to a great message board I had become a member of. NAPS. It is based in the UK, and the women there are great. Very helpful.

A few women have recommended an Herbal Diuretic, and possibly Agnus Castus. So this month I thought I would try the Herbal Diuretic. I guess the theory is that women might have too much water, even on their brains, that is causing the discomfort.

I’ve taken this for two days now, and I do think it is helping. I’m a bit more patient. I think I feel better. But I want to give it a couple more months before I decided. I forgot to pick up the Agnus Castus at the health food store.. but I hope to go and try some of that, too.

I’ve also heard some women have tried 5-HTP with a great deal of success. An interesting site where the lady supports 5-HTP is Here. She has a great deal of information, and also about stress management.

As I stand today, November 7, 2005, things are looking up. I’m not 100%. But hopefully I will be in the future. I’ll attempt to remember to update this page as the months go along.
In summary.. PMS is real! It is not hype, it is not made up by complaining women… who on earth would want to feel this way! Ugh. No one. No one at all.

Edit — January 23, 2006

Well, I thought I should update this page. And I am glad to be here with good news!

I have stopped using bio-identical progesterone cream. Now I am using Vitex Agnus Castus. Here is a little article about it. Supposedly it helps the pituitary gland with hormone balance, and helps produce more progesterone if a woman is low. And I think it works much better than bio-identical progesterone cream. I only take it during PMS… my body seems to not want it when I’m not having PMS, though some women take it all month long.

I also occasionally take a diuretic. But it seems the VAC takes care of most things. Mind… I’m not 100% fine during PMS yet, but maybe eventually I can be almost completely fine. How would that be?

My life seems so much better now that my PMS isn’t such a huge thing. I can bond to my animals and fosters better. And I have so much more patience it’s amazing. It’s just completley great. All during the month. I wonder if this is how most other healthy people live day-to-day.

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